When you experience a breakup, the pain can be compared to cutting through your flesh. A person goes through each stage after the breakup on their own way. My grandmother, who had gone through hunger and war, also said that parting with a person was the same as burying him. Parting is very painful. Sometimes it seems that there is no respect, love, quivering tenderness left in the heart, but it still takes time for the wound to heal.
This article will help you if you do not want to leave scars in your soul and heart. So, when you find yourself in your next relationship, that old would doesn’t surface again. When you go through a breakup, psychologists distinguish 6 stages of experience. And if you do not turn to a specialist for help, then I recommend going through each stage with a movie.
Denial stage: when you experience fear, numbness, blame, and misunderstanding. Denial is a “cry of the soul” – “nooo”! It turns on our protective functions of the psyche to cope with complex feelings of loss. Here the film “Wild” will help you. Connect every fiber of your soul to the heroine of this film and walk with her into her feelings. This will help you step back from the initial hard feelings after the first days of the breakup.
Stage of expression of feelings: irritation, anger, anxiety, shame, and shame. The most unpleasant stage. You get angry at him, then at yourself, and so on until the next stage. The film “Eat Pray Love” with Julia Roberts. Imagine that the heroine of the film is you and live with her what she lives in her story in the film.
Depression and alienation stage: lack of energy, nonsense, helplessness, and overexertion. Since you were very angry in the last stage, emptiness enters here. And as soon as you feel the onset of depression immediately watch the movie “Joy”. As you noticed, I always invite you to connect to the feelings of the heroine. The fact is that our brain does not understand that the heroine of the film is not you, it also empathizes with you with all the feelings that the main character does. Our mirror neurons are responsible for this.
The stage of dialogue and bargaining: communication, a desire to share, an attempt to find an explanation for what happened. Then watch the film “Painted Veil”. This film will raise your standards about human relationships.
If you felt that you admitted your defeat and you began to search for new ideas, create a new plan, then it’s time to act. The fun is coming soon. You need to take care of yourself, motivate yourself to new achievements. Watch the movie “Coco Do Chanel”. Gabrielle Chanel went down in history and even a child knows her name. Why are you worse? She could, so can you. Trust in yourself.
This is the final stage of returning to life: self-esteem rises, your value rises, security and empowerment are felt. Enjoy the movie Fifty Shades Darker. Live your feelings with the heroine. Enjoy and enjoy. This film will give you new guidelines. Watch carefully how the girl maintains her boundaries and protects her inner deep sensual needs. A woman who hears and respects herself, a man begins to hear her and respect her.
The fifth and sixth stages are the compensation stages. New people come into your life, you completely return to life, new impressions completely replace the image of a departed person. The psyche is adapted.
I must say that the stages of parting last for about six months, plus or minus a month or two. If you have been suffering for a year or more, immediately contact a psychologist. Remember that breaking up is a process, it takes time for it to heal in its own way. Do not rush things, accept your feelings, be sad, cry, be sad, miss. By giving your feelings freedom, you do not accumulate internal tension, which can turn into unpleasant consequences. The most powerful soul goes through incredible suffering. Your experience can be the source of your strength. And consider that you have a chance to know the truth and receive the mark of your own triumphal procession.