The neurotic cycle in relationships
Have you noticed that we often enter into relationships with a person who can be the complete opposite of one of our parents, or, conversely, have a great similarity? This a way we have to deal with childhood trauma. Have you noticed that you are interested in partners who show a conditionally cold attitude? If a person appears “strongly connected” to you, then are you in a hurry to break the connection with him?
Building relationships of this type are constantly replacing each other. We can find the reason for this behavior in childhood. Specifically, in a mother’s attachment to her baby. A person’s further ability to build relationships largely depends on this.
Anxiously ambivalent attachment or emotionally cold attachment will leave their mark. If the child was raised by a constantly anxious, caring mother, then the person will begin to avoid such partners. Those who are ready to completely dissolve in him. Consequently, they will be attracted to cold people. At the same time, if the parents raised their child with a certain distance, then as an adult, a person will reach out and become attached to a partner.
While developing, the child must learn fusion, separation, autonomy, and interdependence. When there are reasons why this does not happen, it is very difficult to build harmonious relationships. A person will find himself in such a situation an infinite number of times. His life then will turn into a circle. Quite often each of us finds ourselves in a similar situation. Have you ever wondered why this happens?
Humans always strive to change something in their lives: building new relationships, buy an apartment, get an interesting job. These are all changes in the outside world. Very often, by changing it, we face the problems that worried us earlier. We continue to move along the same life scenario. The most famous example is when a woman, makes a vow of never dating a drinker again. However, she meets a drinker and builds a relationship with them.
Repeatedly vowing to never meet with a married woman again, a woman hardly gets rid of such dependence, and after a while, she meets the same one again, and she has a love for a man who is married to another. At the same time, the man, for whom the relationship of his woman with another turned out to be a tragedy, severed this relationship with pain, but immediately ended up in the hands of a similar person.
Turning to a specialist for help will make it possible to understand what prevents you from achieving the desired result. Professional help will help raise your quality of life to a higher level and learn how to enjoy it. Come to me for a consultation, and you will have the opportunity to free yourself from the connection that weighs you down or to harmonize the relationship that is dear to you. You will feel important and happy.